People always assume I’m vegan just by looking at me too. I don’t know what a vegan is supposed to look like, but I do eat animal meat (sorry, but going 100% vegan makes me feel like crap).
I actually don’t think I’ve ever met anyone over 30 that’s thin, and consumes whatever their heart desires. The fact is, people who aren’t overweight, don’t eat too much. Underweight people can become overweight if they eat a lot.
The excuses for not putting in effort to exercise and/or cutting back calories and junk food, because you have a slow metabolism, you can never get lean, that all diets fail, or you’re too old to get strong and fit, are myths. You can achieve your weight loss and strength goals, as long as your time lines for achieving those goals are realistic, and you’re consistent.
Don’t give up, that’s part of the process. Keep trying different things, and if you’re not succeeding, don’t be cheap and expect to get everything for free; pay for help from a certified trainer and/or someone who has a nutrition certification. Money paid to better yourself is always well worth the price.